To a Soul in Need

Oh, I am so glad you came to me for help!!



I'm feeling that you are a little lost and confused right now. THAT"S OK. You're reaching out and that's what matters. But I'm afraid you might not be ready for some of the hard truths I'm going to tell you. So prepare yourself.



My sister has had back pain and stomach issues for some time. She has seen doctors about it and the pains go away, and return. sometimes they go away for years sometimes weeks. Recently see went to what she refers to as "her voodoo doctor". This guy tells her not to drink milk or any single dairy product (she is not lactose intolerant and has no allergy to milk), so her back pain has not returned for a few months (like all those times before when it didnt return). She assigns the relief to the voodoo doctor.



Aren't we being a wee bit condescending, refering to this person as voodoo ( and the proper term dear, is vodun). Can you say with any certainty that this person has not helped your sister? Let it go dear, and be happy for her.



My wife think homeopathic means good. Despite the fact that there is literally no ingredients in the homeopathic remedy. We arent talking about natural rememdies, such as aspirin or aloe. We are talking about things that are so heavily diluted that there is literally nothing in there.



All right, let's take a look at this. I'll grant you that the overall efficacy of homeopathic treatments are not as encouraging as some of the more traditional remedies. However, practitioners will tell you that it is also a more time consuming process and requires great patience to find the proper remedy. Those looking for a quick fix are bound to be displeased. Does this mean we should just chuck it out the window??? Please, if a problem is plaguing us, should we not give every possible solution a chance



Most of the poeple around me beleive in some form of a being that is all knowing, all powerful, and all good (or any partial combination of those). For them to be right there has to be some creature that is capable of manipulating every single electron in the universe, they have to be able to read every single mind and/or has to always be looking out for all of us. Despite the fact that this creature has never been detected directly, or even indirectly. They claim this thing exists despite and feel that it is not their onus to prove it.



First of all, if 90% of the population believe in something (and I think that may be a conservative estimate), who are you to tell them they are wrong. Why don't you just admit that they may be right and try to belive what they do. I couldn't hurt, could it. After all, you must admit that Pascal had the right idea.

My final piece of advice today. Open you mind and your heart to the wonder of the world around you. There's much more than meets the eye. Let your skepticism go and embrace the now!

Now, I do wish I had more time to address your other issues, but I must really go and re-align my chakras.

[/snark]

Your Humble Christian Consultant

Okay, a little history about me. Imagine if you will, a young, naive Catholic girl falling head over heels in love with a Pentecostal raised boy. They do the usual pre-canna teaching as required by her church, get married in that church (as she wanted) and go on to live a, for the most part, very happy life together. They have wonderful discussions about hopes, dreams, life, beliefs. And then on day, several years later, her DH (darling husband) tells her that after much soul searching, he no longer believes in God.
This had caused our youngish, not quite so innocent woman (me) to do her own soul searching. After some time, I realized that I can't in good faith call myself Catholic. It's the way I was raised, but there's too much church doctrine that I don't believe is right. This is why my part of the post labels me a Christian.. Because for now, I believe in Christ and his teachings. I say for now because I am in a constant state of self-exploration and discovery. For me, God is...it's as simple as that, it's what I feel. And this, I believe, is a large part of the differnece between those who believe and those who don't. Logic vs. feeling.
Anyway, fast forward to a few months ago when I jokingly say to DH that any advise he gives could be a he said/she said. Well, I thought he forgot about it. Then about a week ago he brought it up again and wanted to know if I was in. So here I am, willing to give anyone who wants it, my opinion. And that's all it is...what I think and feel. And please be patient with me, I am nowhere near as blog savvy as my other half:)

Help!!

We got our first email, and it's a doozy. At first, I was tempted to just laugh and let it go, but then I thought further about it. This would be a good test for me, I think. So, here we go.

Dear atheist, dear Christian

I'm not sure if the Christian will answer, but I will.

I have this problem where 90% of the people around me believe strange things. They don't seem to care that there is no evidence for the things they believe or worst, they assign completely unrelated things as evidence that their strange things exist.

Only 90%? If that's not a conservative estimate, can you tell me where you live so I can move there?

Let me give you a couple of examples:

Please do.

My sister has had back pain and stomach issues for some time. She has seen doctors about it and the pains go away, and return. sometimes they go away for years sometimes weeks. Recently see went to what she refers to as "her voodoo doctor". This guy tells her not to drink milk or any single dairy product (she is not lactose intolerant and has no allergy to milk), so her back pain has not returned for a few months (like all those times before when it didnt return). She assigns the relief to the voodoo doctor.

This is an example of confirmation bias. When pain comes and goes it's much more difficult for a doctor to diagnose what is wrong. That also means it is harder to treat. Because of this, many people end up going to "alternative" medicine practioners. Since the doctors weren't able to figure out and treat what was wrong, some people assign any relief to the practioners methods. Unfortunately, it's rare that they actually do a critical analysis of it.

My wife think homeopathic means good. Despite the fact that there is literally no ingredients in the homeopathic remedy. We arent talking about natural rememdies, such as aspirin or aloe. We are talking about things that are so heavily diluted that there is literally nothing in there.

Short of putting her through a course in chemistry, the best I can recommend is having her read this and this.

My mom thinks we all have "energies". These energies are what connect us to the things around us. When we feel bad its becuase the energy is low or bad. Where we feel good its becuase the energy is good or powerful.

I don't want to seem dismissive, but is your mother a Star Wars fan? Probably not, but having her watch any of those movies and seeing her reaction to the Jedi could be interesting, and a good way to start a discussion.

I really wouldn't have much of a problem with this if it were benign. But my sister is being bilked out of loads of cash. When my daughter was teething my wife gave her suger tablets with literally nothing in them for the pain, and my mom eats chemicals that supposedly makes her undectable energy stronger. All bad things for all of them. But thats just the people closest to me.

Perhaps showing each a few examples of why it is harmful will help.

Some of my friends were surprised we chose to have our daughter excersize her immune system as a child rather than getting the deadly ir incapacitating diseases later. We injected her with harmless or dead versions of the diesease which has been shown to protect her later, especialy if everyone around her gets the same immunological excersize. My friends tell me that they put all sorts of nasty things in the injections, like Mercury! Despite the fact that when they took out these 'harmful' preservatives, the rate of autism kept on rising, they just kept on presuming the injections were bad even though these horrible diseases now occur at a rate that is an order of magnitude lower than just a few decades ago.

Ah yes. The people who think Jenny McCarthy knows what she's talking about. However, those honest about vaccination/autism have Amanda Peet on their side. Oh, and they also have those little pesky things called facts.

But its even more than my friends and family. Most of the poeple around me beleive in some form of a being that is all knowing, all powerful, and all good (or any partial combination of those). For them to be right there has to be some creature that is capable of manipulating every single electron in the universe, they have to be able to read every single mind and/or has to always be looking out for all of us. Despite the fact that this creature has never been detected directly, or even indirectly. They claim this thing exists despite and feel that it is not their onus to prove it.

Wow, I'm not the only one who believes in Cthulhu? Okay, I'm kidding, a little. I understand your frustration, and I've found it very difficult to explain why the person making the claim of a supernatural beings existance is the one who has to support it with evidence. Perhaps you can use something (almost?) everyone knows to explain the reasoning. For instance, the "innocent until proven guilty" that's supposed to be required in the U.S. courts.

Again, I really wouldn't have a problem with this if they kept it to themselves, but as a nation it makes us waste billions of dollars on things that have been shown to have no efficacy. They continue to be funded simply becuase of this belief, and I have to pay for it. They make me say werid things when I have to go to court to evaluate my peers. Worst is that becuase I don't bleeive in this ridiculously powerful being that we can not detect in any way, I am the one who is weird, I am the one who must be without morals, I am the one who is going to a fire laden place for all of eternity (never mind that this place exists on no map, has been seen in no telescope and no one has ever returned from there to report on it).

Deep breaths. Now, count to ten. Deep breaths, again. Feeling better now? Me either. It is frustrating, but the alternative is staying quiet and letting them keep knocking down straw men.

Clearly I see that people are hurting themselves by beleiving in these things, worse, they hurt other people. It would be immoral of me to stand by while they continue to hurt each other.

I agree, wholeheartedly.

What should I do?

Point out the errors in their thinking. Also, keep in mind that it's very difficult to reason someone out of a position that they didn't reason themselves into. You may not even be able to change that persons mind, but you could have an effect on one or more people overhearing the conversation.

In the meantime, I would suggest reading to ease your mind. A book such as The Demon-Haunted World by the late Carl Sagan, or Why People Believe Weird Things by Michael Shermer would not only give you some entertainment but help hone your thinking skills.

Most of all, remember that this life is the only time you have to make a difference.

The Atheist

A few months ago, I read a piece in the Ask Laskas advice column. Even before that, her responses were less than stellar, but that one caused me to do some digging. It seems that the most popular advice columnists don't have any training (except previously giving advice to others) in psychology or anything that would qualify them to counsel people.

Ask Laskas has a MFA in non-fiction writing, and even Ask Amy (who I actually like) only shows an unspecified degree from Georgetown University.

At the end of the post, I (half-jokingly) suggested starting my own column. Several of my blogging buddies supported, and encouraged, the idea. My wife even suggested an interesting spin to it. Her suggestion was a he said/she said style, but we'll actually be bringing more to it than that. Since she's a Christian, and I'm... well not, this could be a chance for people to compare our two philosophies in one place. I'm involved (although I haven't contributed in a while) in another such endeavor, but that's slowed down a bit.

Since then, I've been debating about it more and more. The more I thought about it, the more the idea appealed to me. I won't go into the reasons, because after five months of thinking about it they've become too many to list easily. However, the end result is this blog.

So, I'm going to be putting up the contact information for me and my wife, soon (see "Contacting Us" on the top right). You can email either one of us, or both of us. You can use whatever advice we give as you see fit. You can mix and match, choose one side, get a third opinion, or whatever you want. All I'm here for is to give my honest opinion on whatever situation you ask me about.

So, let the questions begin. I look forward to helping in any way that I can.